A Garden of Theology
Though not knowing what prompted me to start this (maybe Tim's post on Redefining Arminianism, or possibly a recent conversation I've had with a newly acquired friend), I decided to record some thoughts on a topic that is rather prevalent in my estimation. I'm not even sure where this post will end up by the time I'm finished. It may be a narrative of my recent history, or perhaps it'll simply be my take on what may be referred to as "The Fine Line."
Actually, it'll probably be a little of both.
A background of my Christian walk, I suppose, is in due order.
I grew up in a wonderful home with my parents and younger sisters. Beginning in my family with my great-great(-great?)-grandparents, my lineage has been raised to know Christ. How wonderful to be brought up with Christian parents and grandparents, and to hear stories of their parents and grandparents loving Jesus and serving the Lord. I am so thankful!
Growing up and going to my family's "home church," I naturally assumed that what I learned there about God and our relationship to Him, the Bible, and salvation, over the course of my 10-year attendance, was the "norm," the truth of Christianity. It was what I heard everywhere in the Christian community. I learned that salvation is predominantly about us. We can have a personal relationship with God through Jesus because of the work done on the cross...for the principal purpose of...having a relationship with God. That was the end for which salvation worked. It was about us. We accepted Jesus into our hearts because God was a little needy. Maybe so much as lonely. He loved us to the extent of loving us because of ourselves.
An example would be in my early years in Sunday school and learning about Noah and the Ark--it was a story about Noah and the Ark. Not about the holiness of God and the vileness of man--it was not a relaying of "God judges the world and sends a flood." There was a smidgeon mentioned about the mercy of God in keeping for Himself a "remnant," but for the most part that portion was as a "backdrop" to the main character of the story. At the same time, we also learned about the omniscience and omnipotence and omnipresence of our God. Hm, confusing...not that I realized the paradox at the time.
On a personal level, during my youth, my Bible was a crack-open-twice-a-week-while-at-church book for a verse here and there. Additionally, I would have the quintessential summer church camp highs, but they would slowly diminish back into the prosaic manner of living the "good church girl" life of outward form and inward lukewarness. This continued primarily through highschool and college years.
A few years ago, I started to attend a College and Career Bible study group unassociated with my church. Learning so much from the teaching pastor there and being surrounded by Christians very passionate about the Word of God, I began to grow in my faith. A desire was lit in my heart to read the Word more and memorize Scripture. I also increasingly loved learning about Biblical things. Though not entirely solid in their theology, my time in this group was certainly a catalyst to where God was then leading me.
Though not knowing a great deal about the church or its pastor, I decided to check out Bethlehem Baptist. And I simply fell in love. With the church. With the people. With the passion there for stating, unabashedly, solid Biblical truths. I'd go to church on Sunday mornings and Pastor John Piper would get up in the pulpit and candidly, fervently lay down truth like I had never heard before that struck me to my core.
Concurrently, I joined a brand new BBC small group, as well as faithfully listened to Desiring God on the radio (when it was actually aired on the radio) in the mornings. These two things brought about my acceptance and embracing love of the doctrines of grace, commonly abbreviated in the word Calvinism.
Upon joining the small group, I heard the word "Arminian" for the very first time. After having it explained to me, I realized that that was what I had grown up learning for the most part. It was then presented to me how that view is unbiblical and how Calvinism gloriously abides by the truth of Scripture, as well as duly brings the most glory to God. The nail that powerfully "drove it home" was one half hour sermon clip one morning on DG radio. Is God for Us or for Himself? It was the first time that I had heard that everything everything was solely for the glory of God. It was the first time hearing about God's own God-centeredness--and it was simply magnificent! It floored me. This is the God to be praised and worshipped - He will not give His glory to another.
Having embraced Calvinism, helpfully remembered by the acronym
T U L I P, I recalled to mind what I had been raised to believe. I realized that I had held to the "Fine Line" concept, wherein God played a major role in my salvation, but I held the remaining 1% responsibility in choosing God, in choosing salvation. Apparently, I believed that I was Mostly Dead, or terminally ill, in my trespasses (but wait, that's not it). Put another way, I held to D A I S Y.
The situation wherein we carry partial responsibility in claiming our salvation, we also receive partial glory. It also renders Ezekiel 36:22-32 as null and void. Hearts of stone do not have the ability - by definition - to transfuse life into themselves. Salvation is entirely the work of the Holy Spirit in quickening our hearts to the truth of the Gospel - replacing those cold, indifferent hearts lodged in our rotting corpses with hearts of flesh.
Additionally, a man-centered belief of salvation is blasphemous. Numerously, God makes perfectly clear His intention for saving His people - His namesake. His namesake, His glory (and our joy, but that's a different post). How can we say "far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ" (in essence, I have no basis of boasting; I boast only in the cross [my weakness and inability to obtain righteousness before God without a savior and mediator]), if we are yet insistently trying to boast in our fractional ability to acquire salvation? It doesn't make sense.
Ezekiel 36:26-27
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
Romans 8:29-30
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Psalm 106:8
Yet he saved them for his name's sake, that he might make known his mighty power.
Actually, it'll probably be a little of both.
A background of my Christian walk, I suppose, is in due order.
I grew up in a wonderful home with my parents and younger sisters. Beginning in my family with my great-great(-great?)-grandparents, my lineage has been raised to know Christ. How wonderful to be brought up with Christian parents and grandparents, and to hear stories of their parents and grandparents loving Jesus and serving the Lord. I am so thankful!
Growing up and going to my family's "home church," I naturally assumed that what I learned there about God and our relationship to Him, the Bible, and salvation, over the course of my 10-year attendance, was the "norm," the truth of Christianity. It was what I heard everywhere in the Christian community. I learned that salvation is predominantly about us. We can have a personal relationship with God through Jesus because of the work done on the cross...for the principal purpose of...having a relationship with God. That was the end for which salvation worked. It was about us. We accepted Jesus into our hearts because God was a little needy. Maybe so much as lonely. He loved us to the extent of loving us because of ourselves.
An example would be in my early years in Sunday school and learning about Noah and the Ark--it was a story about Noah and the Ark. Not about the holiness of God and the vileness of man--it was not a relaying of "God judges the world and sends a flood." There was a smidgeon mentioned about the mercy of God in keeping for Himself a "remnant," but for the most part that portion was as a "backdrop" to the main character of the story. At the same time, we also learned about the omniscience and omnipotence and omnipresence of our God. Hm, confusing...not that I realized the paradox at the time.
On a personal level, during my youth, my Bible was a crack-open-twice-a-week-while-at-church book for a verse here and there. Additionally, I would have the quintessential summer church camp highs, but they would slowly diminish back into the prosaic manner of living the "good church girl" life of outward form and inward lukewarness. This continued primarily through highschool and college years.
A few years ago, I started to attend a College and Career Bible study group unassociated with my church. Learning so much from the teaching pastor there and being surrounded by Christians very passionate about the Word of God, I began to grow in my faith. A desire was lit in my heart to read the Word more and memorize Scripture. I also increasingly loved learning about Biblical things. Though not entirely solid in their theology, my time in this group was certainly a catalyst to where God was then leading me.
Though not knowing a great deal about the church or its pastor, I decided to check out Bethlehem Baptist. And I simply fell in love. With the church. With the people. With the passion there for stating, unabashedly, solid Biblical truths. I'd go to church on Sunday mornings and Pastor John Piper would get up in the pulpit and candidly, fervently lay down truth like I had never heard before that struck me to my core.
Concurrently, I joined a brand new BBC small group, as well as faithfully listened to Desiring God on the radio (when it was actually aired on the radio) in the mornings. These two things brought about my acceptance and embracing love of the doctrines of grace, commonly abbreviated in the word Calvinism.
Upon joining the small group, I heard the word "Arminian" for the very first time. After having it explained to me, I realized that that was what I had grown up learning for the most part. It was then presented to me how that view is unbiblical and how Calvinism gloriously abides by the truth of Scripture, as well as duly brings the most glory to God. The nail that powerfully "drove it home" was one half hour sermon clip one morning on DG radio. Is God for Us or for Himself? It was the first time that I had heard that everything everything was solely for the glory of God. It was the first time hearing about God's own God-centeredness--and it was simply magnificent! It floored me. This is the God to be praised and worshipped - He will not give His glory to another.
Having embraced Calvinism, helpfully remembered by the acronym
T U L I P, I recalled to mind what I had been raised to believe. I realized that I had held to the "Fine Line" concept, wherein God played a major role in my salvation, but I held the remaining 1% responsibility in choosing God, in choosing salvation. Apparently, I believed that I was Mostly Dead, or terminally ill, in my trespasses (but wait, that's not it). Put another way, I held to D A I S Y.
Depraved, but not so bad really(Mad props to Mr. Larsen for brilliantly composing this tongue-in-cheek riposte.)
Atonement for all
Inclining myself to grace
Salvation unless I blow it
You meet the conditions and you're elect
The situation wherein we carry partial responsibility in claiming our salvation, we also receive partial glory. It also renders Ezekiel 36:22-32 as null and void. Hearts of stone do not have the ability - by definition - to transfuse life into themselves. Salvation is entirely the work of the Holy Spirit in quickening our hearts to the truth of the Gospel - replacing those cold, indifferent hearts lodged in our rotting corpses with hearts of flesh.
Additionally, a man-centered belief of salvation is blasphemous. Numerously, God makes perfectly clear His intention for saving His people - His namesake. His namesake, His glory (and our joy, but that's a different post). How can we say "far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ" (in essence, I have no basis of boasting; I boast only in the cross [my weakness and inability to obtain righteousness before God without a savior and mediator]), if we are yet insistently trying to boast in our fractional ability to acquire salvation? It doesn't make sense.
Ezekiel 36:26-27
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
Romans 8:29-30
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Psalm 106:8
Yet he saved them for his name's sake, that he might make known his mighty power.
posted by Jennifer at 12:14 PM
17 Comments:
Thanks for sharing that background on your christian walk, it was most insightful.
A hearty hrrumph hibby!
It's a beautiful thing to know that salvation is "ad extra" (outside of (us))
The implications of what you're talking about go from difficult to precious as tears wash away our blindness to our own inability to save ourselves.
Is 44:20
"He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot deliver himself or say, "Is there not a lie in my right hand?"
Praise the Lord.....
Good post friend.
In Him By Him,
Jen2
What's funny is that when I was a kid, growing up in a Mennonite Brethren Church, we'd sing:
"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do!"
Then, when we got older, we learned how that song wasn't true; I was taught that there were PLENTY of things that God couldn't do.
Come to think of it, most of my childrens songs had better theology than my youth pastor(s). DOH!
That D.A.I.S.Y. acronym is sweet. He loves me. He loves me not...
But the thing that overpowers my disdain for weak theology is the awe that accompanies the realization of the immensity and splendor of our sovereign Lord.
Hey, I wonder if you know a Pastor Craig Sturm at Bethlehem Baptist...
Ha-ha! Armchair - it's so true!! yikes.
Craver - how very true! Just this morning, I was walking into work simply praising God for (as R.C. likes to say in lieu of persevering) preserving me in the faith. "He woke me up a believer this morning!" Ain't that the truth, eh Daasy? :)
And oh my goodness, I just love the Sturm family!! How do you know them?
Beautiful post, Jennifer. Thanks for sharing that. In many ways, your testimony is very similar to mine.
Just wondering...
Were you ever under the impression (as I once was) that growing up in a Christian family made for a "boring" testimony? I mean, when I was younger, every time I listened to a Christian speaker or went to a Christian concert, the testimonies I heard always included the obligatory tale of rebellion: backsliding, dropping out of church, "hanging with the wrong crowd," experimenting with drugs, etc. You know, typical Prodigal Son stuff.
It wasn't until I was introduced to the Doctrines of Grace - especially the concept of total depravity - that things began to make sense. Now, I'm eternally thankful that I was spared all of that rebellious behavior and that my parents gave me a solid biblical foundation.
Does any of that make sense? I have a tendency to ramble sometimes when I'm searching for a point to make.
Wow jennifer, small world.
Everybody only says good things about the Sturms...I keep hearing that people love 'em to pieces, but they never hung around with me...even though I spent a lot of time at their house. (That's supposed to be a riddle.) Mr. & Mrs. will know my real name, which I never use in Blog world.
You live in Minneapolis. Sweet. Watch out for the flying bullets. At least if you are in my neighborhood.
Lee - totally! Now, granted, I did go through a relatively "safe" punk phase (safe in that I didn't go near drugs or any of the "edgier" things...aside from having a 9 inch mohawk, it was a rather uneventful rebellion. On the flip side, there was a gross hardeness and coldness of my heart towards God - and that's not exactly "safe.") But I'm right with you on the "christian family testamony" thing. And the total depravity thing making sense of it all. :)
Craver - now I'm terribly curious as to the unraveling of this riddle... Hmm, so it wouldn't work if I just went up to Mr. Sturm and asked him if he knew "Craver," eh? Ha-ha, a thought just came to mind. Craver sounds a lot like Kramer. Ok, I'm done.
Adam - it's always a little awkward when someone finds your blog that you make it a general habit of lurking at theirs... So, hi. Nice to meet you. Um, yeah, I've heard lots about the whole bullets thing...doesn't help that your roommate shoots at squirrels with a BB gun right out of your window, does it? Hmm....
But yes, living in Minneapolis is sweet.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found...!"
Anyway Mpls is ok but we all know CO, CA and Whistler roxs the hizzo (yes that came from a white guy)!
"He woke me up a believer this morning!"
Tis true, Hibby -WOOT !
Another one I love is "If you get home tonight alive and don't have a car wreck - GOD DID THAT!"
Can a dead man plead his case ?
Or better yet....can a dead man reach his hand out to "receive eternal life?"
He can't even do the accepting of the gift unless he is given LIFE and is inclined to see the gift as precious and necessary - prompting his heart to pursue Christ with all his might.
Hey, want a soapbox? I have a couple extra. oiy vey
Salvation belongs to our God!
Frank - can't forget MT!! (My home's in Montana; I wear a bandana.) And yes, as we speak, I have a Whistler wallpaper up on my computer ~ whoa baby is all I can say.
Oatmeal - did you end up just buying a soapbox? Didn't you know Joey and I were going to get you one for Christmas! Oh well, I suppose we can always just spring for a gift card to Soapbox Surplus Store.
Ha-ha ~ love you. And what you said was perfect.
Jennifer, you do realize you are now obligated to post one or two mohawk pics, right? :)
Oh man Lee... I so didn't think about that and I'm in FULL agreement.
Christian family testimonies are good. Mohawk pics are better. I'm just glad that I'm no longer living the life of "being hated and hating one another" (Titus 3:3).
Point of Interest: I've been mapping thematically through the Old Testament for a class and I have been realizing eto what extent God chose Israel because of how stupid they are, only so that he could display his monumental grace and patience through them. Everytime he does something amazing and gives them a command, a few thousand of them swan dive into sin. So shall we sin so that grace may increase?
May it never be! BUT, there is hope for a steaming skubalon like me.
Oh, and I hate the "Back before I was saved" testimonies where people "righteously" brag about how they "used to be" like 50 Cent or something. Playing 'bigger and better' with a testimony has got to be the most idiotic thing in existence.
By the time I was 3, I was running "candy" in the sandbox in kindergarten, hustlin' hoes on the side with a kissing boothe in the basement of the unfinished house next door and running a Big Wheel chop shop out of my parents garage. I was rolling in the cash, with controlling shares in Fisher Price and my own Ferarri in the garage (308 GTS), though my liscence was a decade and a half away. I used to pack a small callibre deringer in my huggies for protection, cause even back THEN people were straight COLD to the playa.
I had a bunch of high school muscle on the payroll and I ruled every school in the city. We even collected dues from the Russian Mafia preschool, and put the fear into those perpetrators at the Hillside Academy, the local Christian school.
Then, after a life of sniffing adult strength tylenol off an etch-a-sketch and "playing doctor" with half the girls in the neighborhood, I realized that my life was empty and I went searching at a VBS at the local church.
I heard a great sermon on "sharing" and I broke down as the Lord got my heart. I was crying, but it wasn't the normal "I'm hungry" crying or the "I got a boo-boo" crying. It was a SPIRITUAL crying, and my little 2 ounce heart was shattered. I left my gansta life, sold my real estate and committed myself to a selfless life of preschool piety and elementary school evangelism.
And I and the Lord's been walking tall eva since...Word!
Lee and Frank - I...um, well, I--mohawk? Did I say I had a mohawk?? Ermm...
Actually in all honesty, I did not want to have my picture taken during that time...(I must have known just how ugly I looked - no joke). The one "real" picture I had a friend take of my 'hawk (do you know how long 9-inches is?? And it was spiked), she actually got her finger in the way...right in front of the mohawk. Thus leaving no hard evidence of the hairstyle. Much later, after my change in heart (praise the Lord!), I put my hair up again and took a picture. Yikes. That's all I'm going to say about that. (Plus it was a film camera...and I don't have a scanner.) :-P Sorry boys. Maybe I'll bring the picture to church some time...
9 Inch mohawk? Oh SHIB! I am having a hard time imagining it. Visual aide please.
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