Submission

Eagerly awaiting to someday experience the joys of marriage, I occasionally find myself thinking fondly on the delight I imagine it will be submitting to my husband.

A juncture that transpired within this last week prompted closer examination of these aspiring thoughts--more specifically, noting the direct connection between submission to my parental units now and submission to my husband in the future. Taken from the book Her Hand in Marriage by Doug Wilson is a quote that was brought to mind.

We sometimes assume that as girls grow up they are to be treated in the same fashion as sons. This is false--in scripture, sons leave home, daughters are given. This is the scriptural pattern. A son leaves in order to take a wife, and establish a new home. A daughter is given to a young man who is establishing such a home. The idea that a girl can get to the age of 18 or 19, and leave her father's house in order to be out on her own is not scriptural. She remains under the authority of her father--even if she is physically away from home--and then when she is given in marriage, she comes under the authority of her husband. This is the normal scriptural pattern. (p. 21)

Having not yet been "given in marriage," my role right now is submitting to my parents, as I am still under their authority, as well as under the command of 'honor your father and your mother.' Realizing the distinct correlation between my submitting in my father's house and later in my husband's house, I perceived a general lacking in the execution of the former. When directed to do something (or to not do something), often my heart attitude is to feel wronged and stifled. Yet with the head knowledge of the parental honoring commandment, I would "submit," resentful, and simply acquiesce to their instruction.

When I was startlingly convicted of this last week, I reluctantly looked at my heart and attitude that I've developed towards many of my parents' instructions. Yielding acrimoniously is not submission. Done in a wrongful attitude of bitter indignation, the act of assent should not be thought of as an act of submission, but rather as a self-righteous move of compliance, as if in order to "fulfill the Law."

(I'm defining "comply" as an action of following orders simply for the reasoning that it is required obedience -- done with anger, distinctly separate or opposing desires from those that are instructing, eagerness for "liberation" from strict dictation, &c.)

Now, it is not my intention to split hairs or to get wrapped up in the semantics of the English language, but rather to address the heart of the issue...which would be the heart.

I think a true, though probably not entirely comprehensive, definition of submission would be that done "as to the Lord" (that's a tough one to figure out, huh?), respectful and pure motives, actions done with a gentle and quiet spirit, devoid of grumbling, and done with joyfulness and gladness of heart!

Also, directly opposing the prideful attitude of "fulfilling the Law" with the outward motions of compliance, would be an attitude of humility, knowing that submission is not a humanly possible act to manufacture, yet one required of us. It is one done only out of a lowly spirit, dependant on the grace of God through the Holy Spirit, possible because of Jesus' substitutionary, atoning work on the cross. (What? The Gospel's applicable in this too? Nooo...)

These thoughts, this whole concept really shouldn't be so noteworthy as to provoke me to write about it as if I'm newly discovering something, because it seems to me so basic a lesson to the core of (feminine) Christian living that it's almost disturbing that I haven't long ago mastered the art. And yet, it's something I am surely in need of further learning and living out day-to-day.

Ahh, let the abiding work of sanctification continue, Lord...