Love and Centrum Silver
A fond pastime of mine is watching old people--particularly old married couples. Some I see are unmistakably senile, some are quirky...like the couple that wears the matching golf caps or the brilliantly white tennis shoes (how do they keep them so white in slushy winter weather?!). Some seem nearly oblivious to the presence of the other, while others are still so evidently in love with each other.
While watching them, I often wonder, How long have they been married? what have they gone through together in the course of their marriage? what are the dynamics in their relationship? do they love Jesus? It leads me to wonder what I will be like as a little old, white-haired ancient along with my old, wrinkly husband.
Today at lunch (Perkins - the perfect old-people-watching place), one couple sparked my interest and attention...maybe it was because I was already thinking about that stalwart, sacrificial love needed to sustain a marriage.
I was "introduced" to the wife first. She walked in slowly due to twisted legs and bad feet. She lowered herself into the chair next to the window as she informed the host that she would soon be joined by a tall man...Bob was his name. She didn't have to wait long. Soon thereafter, Bob walked in and nearly immediately had a scowl on his face.
"Let's get a booth; I wanted to sit in a booth," he growled.
"Oh, I so wanted to sit by the window," she said as she looked out at the falling snow.
As I watched the display, all I could think was 'Bob! love your wife! love your wife! die to self!' After a while of him refusing to sit at that table, he walked across the room to a different (though identical) table opposite of the one his wife occupied and hung his coat on one of the chairs. As he sat, he announced to his wife sitting alone at the original table, "We're sitting here."
Not so much as assisting her to their newly chosen table, he looked out the window as she laboriously lifted herself out of her chair and slowly ambled over to the new table.
The demonstration of that small peek into their marriage astounded me, and it made me wonder what patterns had they set early on in their marriage that made that interaction apparently the norm. Sacrificial love certainly isn't the norm--for anyone. I've heard it put pithily that marriage is the continual process of discovering how selfish you are. Hm, I pray for my future marriage - that we would so exemplify Christ and the church in loving and submitting to each other; I pray for my future husband - that even now he would be grown in that regard of Christ-like love. I pray for myself - that I might learn how to truly love and respect others now and later my husband.
I hope one day, my husband and I are the cute old couple that is still so in love by the grace of God because we have learned how to love each other and die to self.
While watching them, I often wonder, How long have they been married? what have they gone through together in the course of their marriage? what are the dynamics in their relationship? do they love Jesus? It leads me to wonder what I will be like as a little old, white-haired ancient along with my old, wrinkly husband.
Today at lunch (Perkins - the perfect old-people-watching place), one couple sparked my interest and attention...maybe it was because I was already thinking about that stalwart, sacrificial love needed to sustain a marriage.
I was "introduced" to the wife first. She walked in slowly due to twisted legs and bad feet. She lowered herself into the chair next to the window as she informed the host that she would soon be joined by a tall man...Bob was his name. She didn't have to wait long. Soon thereafter, Bob walked in and nearly immediately had a scowl on his face.
"Let's get a booth; I wanted to sit in a booth," he growled.
"Oh, I so wanted to sit by the window," she said as she looked out at the falling snow.
As I watched the display, all I could think was 'Bob! love your wife! love your wife! die to self!' After a while of him refusing to sit at that table, he walked across the room to a different (though identical) table opposite of the one his wife occupied and hung his coat on one of the chairs. As he sat, he announced to his wife sitting alone at the original table, "We're sitting here."
Not so much as assisting her to their newly chosen table, he looked out the window as she laboriously lifted herself out of her chair and slowly ambled over to the new table.
The demonstration of that small peek into their marriage astounded me, and it made me wonder what patterns had they set early on in their marriage that made that interaction apparently the norm. Sacrificial love certainly isn't the norm--for anyone. I've heard it put pithily that marriage is the continual process of discovering how selfish you are. Hm, I pray for my future marriage - that we would so exemplify Christ and the church in loving and submitting to each other; I pray for my future husband - that even now he would be grown in that regard of Christ-like love. I pray for myself - that I might learn how to truly love and respect others now and later my husband.
I hope one day, my husband and I are the cute old couple that is still so in love by the grace of God because we have learned how to love each other and die to self.
posted by Jennifer at 2:04 PM
8 Comments:
Oh Hibby - we're always thinking along the same lines dear friend.
It's so true that dying to self and loving others is a practiced thing that we need to train our hearts to do whether we feel like it or not. So many think that "if I don't feel like being loving, then I must not really love this person"
When truly - we just love OURSELVES more - much more than others. God wants that to die in us so that we can give everything - nothing held back, for the sake of His beautiful Name...and to glorify His grace.
Ha - God obviously knows how much we love ourselves most.....he doesn't say "you need to love yourself so that you can love others." Rather, knowing we're down right self seeking he said "Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF"
Ps - thank you for the little pink soap box that you got me for Christmas, it's working very well. :)
I'm glad you're getting use out of that soap box.....you look good on it. And you are RIGHT on.
You are just droppin' down and throwin' it like it's hot, girl! Er...something like that...
Hey Jen, thanks for finding my pencil... now, can you please look for my glasses?
You are right about connections to UK and Canada, born in the first, live in the second, and I have dual citizenship, what could be better?
And if I was that little old lady in your post, believe me, we would be sitting next to the window!
Sure thing, ex-sham. You have your glasses on. Hope that cleared things up.
Rock on with the dual citizenship too! :)
That was kinda sad how it turned out. But it's real life. Even when people stick together, they don't always behave as they should. I like watching old people, too. I wonder what kind of stories they have to tell about their many years. I wonder how complicated or simple they might be to "read." For example, is the old man grumpy because his wife wants to sit next to the window, or because they're having car problems, or one of them has cancer? I don't mean to blab on and on; it's just stuff I think about while observing people.
The two groups of people I notice most in public are older couples and parents with little kids. Unfortunately, more often than not the older couples are bitter and the parents with little kids are absolutely clueless - you know, the kind of people who shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. And anger and selfishness always seem to be the most dominant characteristics of each group.
Of course, I see those in my own life more than I'd like to.
Hrrrumph to Craver's thoughts...bigtime.
There have been a few of those humbling moments in my life...where you haven't the slightest clue what is the crux behind the matter. (but Hibby drew out some good thoughts nonetheless)
I once was in a restaurant with my dad and brothers and there was a dad and his two young children next to us who were being rowdy and mischievious....and we would look around at all of the people at the tables surrounding us, and everyone gave the same look like "sheesh dude...discipline your kids...get some control over them!"
Well, someone finally spoke up to the father of the two little ones, gently but you could tell they were annoyed and had had enough of the racket.
The father just looked at the person as if he knew that he was being talked to but his mind was completely lost in other thoughts.
To the rebuker, he simply said "Their mother has just died, and I haven't a clue how to tell them"
Dead silence.
[here] Oh man. Random thoughts from doctor dinglebrain:
[is] I am thankful that God allowed me to see a few good "old" couples in my day. I've witnessed some people who really love one another after 30, 40 or 50+ years of marriage and it's encouraging to know it's actually possible. Not common or easy, but possible.
[a] I guess these days, only the decent marriages actually last at all; the bad ones never survive (seeing that divorce is so socially acceptable now)...though sometimes marriages keep going because both parties simply refuse to entertain the possibility of divorce. I know of couples that sleep in different rooms and have work schedules that don't allow them to see each other, but they're all proud that they're NOT divorced (though they see each other once a week at church).
[boat] Either way, I want to have a loving relationship with my wifey that gets better with age. Lofty goal...doh!
[day] Dying to self is super painful too. Sin is sneaky and completely murderous, and it's so easy to allow little sins to gain ground in the heart.
[hint] And hrrrumph to the Lady Jennifer of Daas! [You're getting one of these, just so you know!] I don't feel like loving anyone except me. Good thing my feelings don't tell me who or how to love.
I love how Ergun Caner once commented on psychological sanctification and said "You don't need to get in touch with your inner child. Your inner child needs a whuppin'!"!
My heart also needs a whuppin' like every day. How in the world does a person kick a heart in the butt?
DOH!
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